What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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