omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
