I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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