just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
