The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
