He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
