He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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