You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
