just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
