Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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