i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
