dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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