If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
