I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
