my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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