Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
