And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
