Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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