it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
