Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
