what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
