If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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