U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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