i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
