My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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