Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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