The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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