We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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