just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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