He kissed a someone with a penis
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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