I'm going to rape someone's good day.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
