did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
