Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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