for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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