dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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