The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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