dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
