She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
