He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
