I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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