is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
birth control should be required to get into college
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
