Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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