After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
