You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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