I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
