is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
