U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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