Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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