their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
