You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sex in the backyard? Check.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
