omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
and eventually we just all took our pants off
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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