My liver just broke up with me...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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